Friday, December 26, 2008
Santa, as usual, did his thing, the kids were (mostly) happy, and we had a nice day together. Because he was the sickest, Matthew took a 6.5 hour nap - he gets more sleep during his naps than I do at night! He woke up around 7:30 and we had a late dinner, and then made it until about 9 before going to bed.
All in all, it was a wonderful day. And of course it included a bit of conflict:
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
It's too bad we shopped for her 5 weeks ago when the list was only "mittens for my bear and a train." What a big difference a few words makes! Oh well. We'll blame Santa.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Did I mention the dream was weird?
Then Susan flushed the toilet while Matthew was in it, and I had to jump in (it was a big toilet) and get him out of the drain. All was fine, we checked out and I woke up.
The problem is that I told this dream in front of Ellie, who remembers and obsesses over things like nobody you've ever seen. And her brain works on these things even when she's doing something else. As soon as I finished the story, Ellie began asking, "Why did Mrs. O flush Matthew while he was in the toilet?" Uh oh.
Her line of questioning lasted from breakfast until I dropped her off at school, and resumed when I picked her up. In the couple of days since I told her about it, she's brought it up at least a couple of times each day. The funny thing is that she understands it was a dream, but can't figure out why Susan flushed Matthew.
Oh well...she can just add that to the list of things she describes to her therapist in 30 years, right?
Monday, December 1, 2008
Anyway, I told Matthew this morning that I didn't think he was going to go to school today because he's sick. He freaked out and almost started crying (he is only 2, after all), and said "Nooooo! I go to school. I am a big boy!"
That's my boy! (we didn't go though...Home Depot and Costco had to do)
"First, you look at the cow's bottom. And then you pull the cow's bottom softly. One of the cow's hoses. But not too much of it. Pull it a little more harder, but not too much. And then all of the milk comes out into the bucket. That's how you get cow milk."
She came into the house after I'd brought some Christmas decorations, and she squealed - "EeeeEEEE! It's Santa! Hee hee hee!"
She saw a spider (well, it was actually a piece of dirt, but I swear I vacuum) downstairs - "EeeEEEE! A spider! Daddy, come get it! DADDY! Where are you!?!?"
She also likes to sneak up on me. It's fun to pretend that I don't see her coming, and then at the last second turn and scare her. "EeeeEEEE!" (makes funny face and runs away) "Daddy, don't scare me like that!"
Mr. "Me Too" (Matthew) has also taken to squealing, because of course he has to be just like his big sister. The greatest part about it is that he doesn't really understand when to do it. So when he thinks it might be appropriate, he looks at Ellie to see if she's going to do it. If she does, then he does (and he gets a big smile, too).
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Once upon a time there was a Mommy and a Daddy. They didn't have any kids, and they didn't even have a Gideon or a Mena! So one day, they decided that they wanted a dog. They didn't know what kind of dog they were looking for, so they went to lots of shelters to look at lots of dogs.
They saw big dogs, little dogs, furry dogs, dogs with less fur, tall dogs, short dogs, loud dogs, quiet dogs...but they didn't find the dog they were looking for. Then one day they were at the Seal Beach Animal Control Center. They walked around a corner, and then at the far end of the walkway there was a little brown puppy in a cage. As we (this is where I usually slip into first person) got closer, I saw a cute little dog jumping up and down, saying "Look at me! Look at me!"
When we got to his cage I looked at him, and he looked at me. He started WIGGLING all over, and jumped up and down even more! We saw that his name was Gideon. Mommy and Daddy said, "Gideon is pretty cute - we should check him out."
So we got a leash and took him on a little walk. He was FUN. So we decided we wanted to take him home. We went to the office and while Mommy was filling out the paperwork to take him home, Gideon peed on my shoe. He'd marked me! From then on, he was my little guy, and I was his dude.
The animal shelter wouldn't let us take him home that day - we had to wait until the next. He looked really disappointed to be going back to his cage, and we didn't want to leave him. But the next day we came back as soon as we could, and he got super wiggly when he saw us again. We got him out of his cage, and took him to our car. (Ellie interrupts here and says, "You mean your TRUCK.") Right. Our truck. So we put him in our truck, and do you know what he did on the way home? He peed in the truck. ("Eews" all around).
So Mommy and Daddy had Gideon for about a year, and then we decided he needed a sister. So we went back to Seal Beach to look for another dog. We found a neat puppy named Sprinkles. They wanted us to bring Gideon in to meet her, so we did. When they got the dogs together in the play yard, they kind of played near each other, but they mostly ignored each other. They were kind of like, eehhh (shrug shoulders here). So we told them, "No, Sprinkles isn't the right dog for us."
They said, "Have you seen Mena?"
I said, "Who's Mena?"
"Oh, you have to see Mena. She's a great dog!"
So we took Sprinkles back, and they showed me Mena. She was so polite, just curled up in her cage behind some other dogs, just waiting for someone to notice her. I hadn't noticed her because she was so polite! So I said, "Okay, let's get Mena to meet Gideon."
When the two of them got together, they started running around like maniacs! They were wrestling with each other, running around, playing in the wading pools, and having a great time, just like they were best friends! So we said that we wanted to take Mena home with us. We didn't have to wait this time, so we filled out the paperwork and went to our car. (again, Ellie now interrupts, "You mean your TRUCK.") Right. Our truck.
Gideon got in, but little Mena was too scared to get in by herself. She didn't know how much fun car rides were yet. So we had to pick her up and put her in, and she was shaking the whole way home. When we got home, she became the best little sister we could have asked for for Gideon, and they were best friends forever.
(usually Ellie then asks to hear the story of how Gideon and Mena died...)
After Mommy and Daddy had Gideon and Mena for a LOOONG time, they got very old. Mena got very sick, and Daddy took her to see the vet. The vet told Daddy that Mena was super sick and old, and that she was going to die soon. (Ellie, who heard Sharon's side of the phone call, says "And you called Mommy and she started crying.") Yes, Mommy was very sad too. So Daddy took Mena to get some more tests done, and they told us she was in a lot of pain and was going to die soon. So then we brought her home and had our Mena day. We took her for a walk, and petted her, and told her how much we loved her. Then the next day Mommy and Daddy took her somewhere where she could die peacefully. And now she's with the angels.
Then a few days later Gideon's eye got sick. Daddy took him to the vet to get him checked out, and we had to go to some other places to get more tests done for him. The vets told Daddy that Gideon was very sick, too, and that he was going to die soon too. We were very sad, because we just lost Mena and now Gideon was going to die too. So we had some fun Gideon days. We played with him a lot, and rubbed him, and told him how much we loved him. Miss Nadine came over and we all played with him and had lots of fun. And then the next day Mommy and Daddy took Gideon somewhere that he could die peacefully. And now he and Mena are together, playing with Grandma Boo and Grandpa Don, and Kitsie and Erf. (Ellie only met Grandma Boo, but we mention the others)
Thursday, November 27, 2008
I made up for the lower cal dinner by using our china, which we may not have ever used before...I'm not sure. If we've used it in the past, it hasn't been for a LONG time.
Anyway, before dinner we went around and everyone said what they're thankful for...
- Sharon and I were thankful for having such a great family.
- Ellie was thankful for having had a good year with Gideon and Mena.
- Matthew was thankful for bananas.
- fake turkey
- cranberry sauce
- meatballs for Matthew since I can't get him to try any of the other stuff even though I know he'd like it
- pumpkin pie
- cranapple crisp
- whipped cream, which is all the kids would touch
Now we're back, the kitchen and dishes are clean, and the kids are about out of the bath. All in all, a great thanksgiving! Hopefully yours was great too!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
A few days ago they started looking like pictures.
I guess it's easier having my memories flattened out. I don't have the constant feeling of sadness whenever I think about them (although occasionally things flare up). I don't constantly - and accidentally - look out in the back yard to see what they're doing. I've gotten used to the squirrels and birds poking around the yard instead of running with fear to the nearest tree. I've gotten used to being able to leave the gates open.
I'm a little sad to have gotten to this point.
Of course, there are still emotional times. I haven't had the heart to bring Gideon's tennis balls inside from the back yard - I like looking at them when I go out there. Even though Matthew has seen them practically every day since Gideon died, he's always ignored them. But a couple of days ago he picked one up and said, "Gideon's ball? Throw it?" He threw it a few times, and I got sad thinking about how much I wanted Gideon to be there with us. Even Matthew's short throws were frustrating for Gideon (running a distance less than his own body length isn't what Gideon wanted), he'd always bring the ball back. I'd make Gideon drop it, and Matthew would keep throwing it until somebody got bored. I'm going to really miss watching Matthew get better at throwing the ball for Gideon.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
Yesterday Matthew and I went on the usual walk we always did with you, and it got me feeling pretty sorry for myself. I miss how happy you both looked when the leashes came out. I miss how you let Matthew hold your leashes from the stroller, and how well you guys walked next to each other. There was something so special about walking around with you two next to me. The little strut you both did on walks was something I loved, and I'd give anything to be able to enjoy that again. I've missed being able to tell you how proud I am of both of you.
I think (at least I hope) I told you enough how proud I was. But one thing I never got to tell either of you is how proud I am of how you both were when we took you in at the end.
Mena, you were SO good, as usual, when we went in and got the diagnoses. And when we went in the next day for the last time, the doctors remember you and how sweet you were. You were so gentle and made such a big impression on everyone who met you... I have always wondered how nobody had adopted you before we did - but I'm incredibly thankful that we were the ones who had the honor of having you in the family.
Gideon, it's no secret that you hated being examined - and especially hated getting shots. But you did really well those last few appointments. And at the end, even though I had to hold you a little bit when the doctor brought the needle in, you did really well. I can't forget (and don't think I want to) how you went to sleep standing up in my arms. And then how after it was all over your lip and arms were twitching, just like they used to when you dreamed. I hope you were dreaming about how we used to wrestle with each other, and that you heard me telling you how much I love you.
I still love and miss you guys so much, and I hate not having you around. I look at pictures and it seems like you've only been gone a few hours, and that I'm going to see you come down the stairs any minute. But then I remember you aren't coming back and it hurts so bad. But somehow the magnitude of it doesn't seem real until I write about you. So here it is - I need to talk to you every once in a while. Sorry it's so rambling, but hopefully somehow you're getting it all.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
- His mom let him get out of his car seat and out of the car THROUGH THE BACK WINDOW. OK, he didn't actually make it all the way out, but it was only because they were running late and his mom pulled him out before he could do it himself.
- He taught my daughter (and everyone else at school) to run around with pretend rifles yelling "FIRE!" and shooting at other people.
- He told a story to the kids at his table (I was there, as was his mom) about how he saw a movie where "there was a big alien and the guy shot...he shot...he shot...he shot!...he shot the alien and the alien exploded and got stuff all over the guy!"
Jeez, how old am I to be complaining about this? I need to go get some Depends before those darned kids egg my car.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
I gave the old dog medicines to the vet for disposal and/or donating to needy clients. I think that helped, since I don't have to see all of it any more - especially the stuff we were giving Gideon near the end. I've also put the remaining dog stuff we don't want to keep in a big pile to either give to neighbors or give to the local shelter. But I just can't pull the trigger and give it away. I know we don't need it (and some of it was stuff that was never used) but it just makes things seem so final. I think one of the worst things is those 3 cans of wet food that are leftover. When I bought 12 cans I thought Mena might have time to finish them all. Little did I know that Gideon wouldn't even have enough time to finish them all.
I still have good and bad times, but more good than bad. Mostly it's when everyone is asleep that it's hardest...it's just so quiet. I miss the nails clicking, the breathing, the digging of nests on the carpet. And I really miss having someone to talk to when I get home, or I'm the only one awake.
But overall, life is getting a little easier and we're all doing better. I know that it's healthy to get over their deaths and to move on, but in addition to feeling better I often also feel a range of other emotions. It's almost like I have 2 separate TV shows going in my head at once. Show 1 is the "feeling better" show, and Show 2 is the "sadness/grief/guilt" show. It's very strange watching both shows at once. And I'm not really sure I want Show 2 to end quite yet.
Monday, October 13, 2008
- clean up the food under the table and on the kitchen floor
- put his furry butt on me
- leave clumps of butt fur all over the place
- bring me yucky tennis balls
- walk with me to the park and poop twice
- let me pretend his tail is a paintbrush
- calm down when I rub his belly button (it soothes the savagest of the G-men!)
- drag and shred garbage into Matthew's room
- be a wiggler when I get home
- protect the yard and house from squirrels and/or strangers
- bring me a belly to rub when I'm feeling sad
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
From the day I met him to the day he died, Gideon was always a puppy at heart. He was, and will always be, my little guy - and I will always be his dude. I cherish the memories of our time together, and I miss him more than anyone can imagine.
*Gideon, also known as Little G, Gid, Gid Kid, G-Monkey, My Little Guy, G-Man, Gidster, Brownhound, Mr. Stinkypants, Mr. Man, The Furry Buttcheeks McGee, The Gentle G, Stripeyback, and many combinations of the above
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
I figured Gideon would plop down and do his heavy breathing in the back on our way home, but I found my arm quickly covered in dog slobber...and wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
One is The Snowman, by Raymond Briggs. This is one of those books with no words, which is great. We can make up stuff as we go along, and the boy (I think right now we're calling him Johnny) makes a snowman and has great adventures with him. Nice, huh? Except in the last frame he goes outside and finds his best friend melted.
The other one that is strange to read to a 1 and 3 year old is The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein. Don't get me wrong, it's a nice story, but I find it to be quite sad. So of course the kids LOVE this book. It reminds me of the love story in Forrest Gump, where the girl uses Forrest whenever she needs something (especially when she goes back at the end of the movie) but goes away whenever she wants, and she doesn't really love Forrest (at least that's the way I see it). In this book, there's a tree and a boy. The tree loves the boy, and the boy just uses the tree whenever he needs something. He takes and takes, goes away for long periods of time, and then comes back when he needs something else.
Wait a minute, is that tree his parent?
Anyway, at the end the boy comes back and sits on the stump (that's all that he left of the tree), and the tree is happy again just because the boy is back.
What a dumb tree.
Well, Matthew is turning into a world class climber. The other day I was upstairs cleaning (okay, getting a Diet Mountain Dew) and heard Ellie shriek "Matthew needs heeeeellllp!"
I ran downstairs to find Matthew in his old high chair. Ellie calmly told me that he needed help getting down. Yeah, I can see that? How did he get up there?
"He just climbed up."
Uh oh. I always prided myself on the fact that Ellie stayed in her crib until she was 3. Never once did she try and get out. I guess it's time to get the duct tape out and strap Mr. Man down at bedtime.
Since the high chair incident, I've caught him climbing up into it a few more times, climbing on top of every table in the house, moving chairs to get up on higher tables, and bringing a stool upstairs to climb up onto who-knows-what.
We were at the park yesterday and a little girl (probably 7ish) was walking on top of the hand-over-hand ladder thing. I had to shield Matthew's eyes to prevent THAT notion from entering his head so soon. I'm not ready for that yet.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Just what I needed - my last sacred "alone" spot ruined.
So I got things started, and then she yelled, "No! No! Wait!!! You're supposed to be reading a magazine!"
At least she's learning from the best!
That evening, Ellie was in the bathroom for the entire dinnertime, singing and doing who-knows-what. Despite my calls for her to hurry up, there was no getting her out, and this wasn't a battle I was prepared to fight. Whatever.
There were lots of comments that were wonderful dinner conversation - "Ellie, are you peeing? Pooping?" "Yes pee! No poop!"
Finally, and I really mean finally, because I was practically ready to go to bed at this point, I heard the toilet paper start spinning madly, followed by, "Uh, hey! I think I pooped!"
OK, it's not so funny for anyone but Sharon, but she made me post this so she could laugh about it.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
He has 2 ear infections. Whoops.
The child is a trooper, I have to admit. Other than poking his ears a couple of times, he didn't seem like he had any more than I did. Well, he's teething too, but other than that...
So we are at the doctor's office, and Ellie was out of school because of the huge "winter event" that didn't end up happening, so she came with us. Not to be outdone by 2 ear infections, she barfed at the doctor's office.
Sorry, she "barfded." While I was getting Matthew naked. OK, it wasn't the first time that day, but I thought she was empty.
So here's what I don't get. If a kid barfs at the doctor's office, wouldn't you expect that they'd kind of clean it up really well? I ended up cleaning it up with some wipes, then asked for some clorox wipes (explaining what had happened). They brought me some, I wiped the area down, and then they sprayed some Lysol around.
That was it. EEWW! Had I mentioned that Matthew was running around naked? In an office where goodness knows what had happened, and how poorly it had been cleaned up? Bleah.
You know what's worse? I forgot to wash BOTH kids hands before eating lunch later. What the heck is wrong with me?
(although at least I Purelled them)
Friday, February 8, 2008
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Friday, February 1, 2008
"For our snack we had brown bars that tasted like cheese. Sage 'barfded' at snack time. Sage did this *puffs cheeks* before he barfded. Instead of the food going into your belly and turning to poop it comes back out and turns into barf. That's why, daddy. Sage was trying to hold his barf. I didn't like the little brown bars at snack time so I threw mine away."
Monday, January 14, 2008
Who? Matthew? Was I supposed to be watching him? Oh, I think he was off playing in the knife drawer or something.
Friday, January 11, 2008
And so another morning begins. Fortunately I've already gotten ready, since this is the usual routine. Get up at 4:30 when Sharon's alarm starts going off. Get up every 10 minutes for about an hour when her snooze alarms go off. At 5:45, after she's out of the shower, take my shower and get ready. Read until 6:10, at which point Ellie calls out.
Once I get into her room, she points out that "it's now 6:11." Thanks.
This morning there was a twist. She was laying in bed while I was getting her clothes out, and we had this little conversation:
"Ellie, did you get a good night's sleep?"At least she's learning about hygiene, right?
"Yes. I was picking boogers after I got up."
"Oh. What have you been doing with them?"
"In my hand. Whenever you pick boogers with your fingers, you ALWAYS need to wash your hands."
"That's good advice, dear."
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
If you think I'll sit around as the world goes by
You're thinkin' like a fool cause its a case of do or die
Out there is a fortune waitin' to be had
You think I'll let it go you're mad
You've got another thing comin'
After the song, Ellie said "If they say 'you've got another thing coming,' you say 'NOOO! I don't WANT another thing coming!'"
Now how can she understand those lyrics so well, but I can't get her to listen to one thing I say?
Monday, January 7, 2008
Re: You are stupid
Dear Sir(s) and Madam(s),
You can do many things while you read, but despite what you think, walking isn't one of them. I know you like to show everyone how smart you are by reading Nietzsche while you're walking down the street, but trust me, you can't possibly concentrate on both walking and reading enough to properly do either.
And when you can't see around the book you're holding at eye level and step off the curb against the light, almost causing an accident in front of me outside the Clarendon Metro, I just think you're an idiot.