I'm a dope...

I watched Britney drive around and around the courthouse live on tmz.com. What's worse? I actually got a little thrill out of it. And even worse? I felt cheated when my stream got cut off and I couldn't see her actually go in! I'm so ashamed.

Who? Matthew? Was I supposed to be watching him? Oh, I think he was off playing in the knife drawer or something.

6:10 am

"It's 6:10!!! I WANT TO GO DOWN THE STAYERS!" (she drags "stairs" out to at least 2 syllables...hey, she's from Texas!)

And so another morning begins. Fortunately I've already gotten ready, since this is the usual routine. Get up at 4:30 when Sharon's alarm starts going off. Get up every 10 minutes for about an hour when her snooze alarms go off. At 5:45, after she's out of the shower, take my shower and get ready. Read until 6:10, at which point Ellie calls out.

Once I get into her room, she points out that "it's now 6:11." Thanks.

This morning there was a twist. She was laying in bed while I was getting her clothes out, and we had this little conversation:

"Ellie, did you get a good night's sleep?"
"Yes. I was picking boogers after I got up."
"Oh. What have you been doing with them?"
"Smashing them."
"Uh, where?"
"In my hand. Whenever you pick boogers with your fingers, you ALWAYS need to wash your hands."
"That's good advice, dear."

At least she's learning about hygiene, right?

Ellie vs. Judas Priest

We were listening to the radio during dinner last night, and "You've Got Another Thing Comin'" by Judas Priest came on. In case you aren't familiar with the chorus (and I imagine you aren't):

If you think I'll sit around as the world goes by
You're thinkin' like a fool cause its a case of do or die
Out there is a fortune waitin' to be had
You think I'll let it go you're mad
You've got another thing comin'


After the song, Ellie said "If they say 'you've got another thing coming,' you say 'NOOO! I don't WANT another thing coming!'"

Now how can she understand those lyrics so well, but I can't get her to listen to one thing I say?

A Memo

To: People who read and walk at the same time
Re: You are stupid

Dear Sir(s) and Madam(s),

You can do many things while you read, but despite what you think, walking isn't one of them. I know you like to show everyone how smart you are by reading Nietzsche while you're walking down the street, but trust me, you can't possibly concentrate on both walking and reading enough to properly do either.

And when you can't see around the book you're holding at eye level and step off the curb against the light, almost causing an accident in front of me outside the Clarendon Metro, I just think you're an idiot.

Love,
Me

XMAS 2007

Thank goodness it went better than Thanksgiving did!

Actually, I can't imagine it going too much better for us. The kids both did great, making it through the whole morning of presents!

Although, I wouldn't have minded getting some more sleep. I imagine normal people's sleep schedules look like:
10:00 pm - get ready for bed
10:15 pm - get in bed and start going to sleep
10:30 pm - sleep
6:00+ am - wake up and enjoy Christmas

Someone else decided I should have a modified sleep schedule. Last night was fairly typical, although I think the thought of Santa may have made it a bit worse:
9:45 pm - fall semi-sleep on couch
10:30 pm - get ready for bed
10:31 pm - read in bed, remember none of it because I'm too tired, finally fall asleep
2:30 am - wake up hearing "Fix my blankies please!" Go tell Ellie to go back to sleep (after congratulating her on using "please")
4:30 am - wake up hearing "I'm siiiiick. I need to barf...I need a barf bowl." RUN into Ellie's room to see her smiling at me. Tell her to go back to sleep
5:30 and 5:50 am - wake up hearing "I'm ready to go downstairs!", call out to Ellie to go back to sleep
6:11 am - wake up hearing "It's a six," meaning that it's finally after 6 am and I can now wake up and get her out of bed.

Still, if that's my biggest problem, I'm happy. Tired, but happy.

"Bits of Wisdom," by Ellie

Sometimes I hope Ellie randomly says these things at preschool...

On Diet Mountain Dew:
"Never, NEVER, spill Daddy's drink."

On home safety:
"If we leave the door unlocked, strangers will come in and eat our food."
"If we dial 911 and it isn't a 'mergency' the 'mergencies' will get mad."

On poop:
"We don't eat poop. It tastes yucky."

I'm becoming my Dad

When I was a kid I helped Mom fold the laundry - well, at least once - and the only thing I remember is that we had to turn all of Dad's underwear, socks, and undershirts right side out. Why? Because apparently Dad wouldn't turn them right side out before he wore them. Clearly Dad must have suffered from some disorder, right? I mean, come on...how hard is it to check that?

Twice this week I've gone out with one sock inside out. I understand now that the disorder is called "children."

OK, so it's not the worst thing in the world to figure out while you're in public...

The next thing you know I'll be adding the phrase "turkey-butt" (as an expletive) to my vocabulary. (I'm actually trying, because it now makes me laugh, but it just won't catch.)