Oh my!

Me: "So, tell me what you did at preschool today..."

Ellie: "I slept with Alex today."

Boy, they are growing up fast these days!

Toilet time

The other morning before taking Ellie to preschool, nature was calling, and there was no way I was going to let it go to voicemail. So off I went, and as I was closing the door Ellie ran in behind me and said "I'll help you!"

Just what I needed - my last sacred "alone" spot ruined.

So I got things started, and then she yelled, "No! No! Wait!!! You're supposed to be reading a magazine!"

At least she's learning from the best!

---

That evening, Ellie was in the bathroom for the entire dinnertime, singing and doing who-knows-what. Despite my calls for her to hurry up, there was no getting her out, and this wasn't a battle I was prepared to fight. Whatever.

There were lots of comments that were wonderful dinner conversation - "Ellie, are you peeing? Pooping?" "Yes pee! No poop!"

Finally, and I really mean finally, because I was practically ready to go to bed at this point, I heard the toilet paper start spinning madly, followed by, "Uh, hey! I think I pooped!"

OK, it's not so funny for anyone but Sharon, but she made me post this so she could laugh about it.

If only I could get away with this!

Sharon: "Ellie, what the heck are you doing?" (Ellie is covering her ears with her hands)

Ellie, pointing emphatically at Sharon: "Trying to make YOU be quiet!"

The doctor has surely seen worse

So Matthew went in for his 18 month appointment on Friday. He'd already been sick for a couple of weeks, apparently (hint, hint, note the foreshadowing) with what I had also come down with - a super-cold. The Mother of All Colds. The "call your wife and have her come home early from work because you can barely make it to the car to pick up the kid" cold. Anyway, he was still kind of sick, so I figured that it was still worth going to get him checked out, even though we wouldn't get the shots.

He has 2 ear infections. Whoops.

The child is a trooper, I have to admit. Other than poking his ears a couple of times, he didn't seem like he had any more than I did. Well, he's teething too, but other than that...

So we are at the doctor's office, and Ellie was out of school because of the huge "winter event" that didn't end up happening, so she came with us. Not to be outdone by 2 ear infections, she barfed at the doctor's office.

Sorry, she "barfded." While I was getting Matthew naked. OK, it wasn't the first time that day, but I thought she was empty.

So here's what I don't get. If a kid barfs at the doctor's office, wouldn't you expect that they'd kind of clean it up really well? I ended up cleaning it up with some wipes, then asked for some clorox wipes (explaining what had happened). They brought me some, I wiped the area down, and then they sprayed some Lysol around.

That was it. EEWW! Had I mentioned that Matthew was running around naked? In an office where goodness knows what had happened, and how poorly it had been cleaned up? Bleah.

You know what's worse? I forgot to wash BOTH kids hands before eating lunch later. What the heck is wrong with me?

(although at least I Purelled them)

She's growing up...

"I already peed, Daddy! Now I'm pooping again. I want to poop a lot of times. Could you please get out of here?"

The Germans are coming!

"So Ellie, what did you learn in school today?"

"If you eat and then don't brush your teeth, the food turns into Germans. The Germans will eat your teeth and you will have to see the dentist. That's why you have to brush your teeth."

Snack time at preschool is interesting

As usual, I asked, "Ellie, what did you do at preschool today?"

"For our snack we had brown bars that tasted like cheese. Sage 'barfded' at snack time. Sage did this *puffs cheeks* before he barfded. Instead of the food going into your belly and turning to poop it comes back out and turns into barf. That's why, daddy. Sage was trying to hold his barf. I didn't like the little brown bars at snack time so I threw mine away."